A little boy hops on a bus and sits right behind the driver.
Grinning, he starts chattering:
“If my mom was a hen and my dad was a rooster, I’d be a little chick!”
The bus driver sighs. Oh great, one of these kids.
The boy keeps going.
“If my mom was a cow and my dad was a bull, I’d be a little calf!”
The driver groans. “Kid, please shut up.”
But the boy? Oh, he’s just getting started.
“If my mom was a female elephant and my dad was a male elephant, I’d be a little elephant!”
The driver grips the wheel tighter. “I said, SHUT UP!”
Still, the kid doesn’t quit.
“If my mom was a dog and my dad was a dog, I’d be a little puppy!”
The driver snaps. “Alright, kid—what if your mom was a waitress and your dad was unemployed? What would you be then?”
Without missing a beat, the boy smirks and says:
“A bus driver.”
The bus nearly swerves off the road.
A woman walks into Cabela’s to buy a fishing rod and reel for her son’s birthday.
Not knowing much about fishing gear, she randomly picks one and heads to the counter.
The clerk, wearing dark glasses, stands behind the register. She approaches him and asks, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”
He replies, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind, but if you drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything about it just from the sound.”
Skeptical but curious, she lets it fall onto the counter.
The clerk listens and says, “That’s a 6-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-pound test line. It’s a solid all-around combo, and lucky for you, it’s on sale this week for just $20.”
Amazed, she exclaims, “That’s incredible! I’ll take it.”
As she reaches into her purse to grab her wallet, her credit card slips out and lands on the floor.
Without missing a beat, the clerk says, “Oh, that sounds like a MasterCard.”
She bends down to pick it up and, in an unfortunate moment, accidentally lets out a fart.
Embarrassed, she freezes, then reassures herself—there’s no way the blind clerk could know it was her. After all, he can’t see that she’s the only one nearby.
The man rang up her purchase and said, “That’ll be $34.50.”
Puzzled, she asks, “Wait… didn’t you say the rod and reel were $20? How did it jump to $34.50?”
He smiles and replies, “Yes, ma’am. The rod and reel are $20, but the Duck Call is $11, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.”
Without another word, she swipes her MasterCard and walks out.
A lady walks into a fancy jewellery store.
She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet, and inspects it.
She accidentally breaks the wind when she bends over to look more closely.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a salesperson doesn’t appear.
When she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes as a salesman standing right behind her.
Cool as a cucumber and with complete professionalism, the salesman of the fancy jewelry store greets the lady with, “Good Morning, Madam. How may we help you today?”
Very uncomfortably, but in the hope that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little “accident”! She asks, “Sir, what is the price of this beautiful bracelet?”
He replies, “Ma’am if you farted just looking at it, you’re going to crap when I tell you the price.”
