The young wife went into labor while her husband was overseas serving in the w.ar.
The next day, he got the news that his wife had delivered twins. He got to a phone and called her right away.
“Oh honey, I’m so happy,” he said. “Who took you to the hospital?”
“Your brother, Joe, drove me, and since I had to be anesthetized, he named the twins.”
The husband was horrified. “But, but, Joe is an idiot! Oh no! What did he name them?”
The wife answered, “We have a girl and a boy. Joe named the girl Deniece.”
The husband interrupted, “Well, that’s not so bad. What did he name the boy?”
“Joe named the boy De-nephew.”
A husband walked into the police station to file a “missing person” report for his wife.
Husband: “I can’t find my wife. She went shopping and hasn’t returned.”
Inspector: “How tall is she?”
Husband: “I… never really checked.”
Inspector: “Is she slim or healthy?”
Husband: “Well, not exactly slim, but she’s healthy.”
Inspector: “What’s the color of her eyes?”
Husband: “I’ve never noticed.”
Inspector: “And her hair color?”
Husband: “It changes with the seasons.”
Inspector: “What was she wearing?”
Husband: “I’m not sure. Maybe a dress or a suit.”
Inspector: “Was she driving?”
Husband: “Yes.”
Inspector: “Can you tell me the make and color of the car?”
Husband: “It’s a black Audi A8 with a supercharged 3.0-litre V6 engine, 333 horsepower, an eight-speed Tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. It’s got full LED headlights, and there’s a faint scratch on the front left door.”
The husband then began to cry.
Inspector: “Don’t worry, sir. We’ll find your car!”
